These last few weeks have been the worst so far in my hysterectomy recovery. At 42, menopause is kicking my ass. Guys who may be reading this and thinking “I’ll just skip to the recipe,” please don’t. Your wife, girlfriend, sister or mother will have (are having/ have had) these symptoms. After I got home from the hospital I was feeling pretty smug about not having hot flashes or night sweats. I was telling my friends I couldn’t believe that after all my body has put me through, I was feeling fine. No hot flashes. No emotional outburst (except crying during every episode of Downton Abby). I thought I had dodged the big scary menopause my mom warned me about.

A few months after my surgery I was experiencing anxiety that made me feel like I could jump out of my own skin. The hot flashes were horrible (I felt like I was being microwaved alive). Both symptoms seemed to be getting worse with each passing week. At first, I thought, my life is super stressful at the moment and it will get better. But, It only got worse! I cannot take hormone replacement therapy because of my endometriosis. I visited my doctor and was given Effexor, which is an anti-anxiety drug that also helps with hot flashes. At first it worked amazingly and had the added bonus of making me not want to eat. I have gone up on the dosage twice because the positive effects keep wearing off. Now, I am having hot flashes about every 45 minutes at night and I wake up covered in sweat. I go from holy hell fire to shivering cold. This cycle repeats itself all night long. Last night I slept in the spare bedroom with a fan blasting me. Is this now my life? Sleeping alone because my body is going bonkers?

I get why my mom warned me about the side effects of entering early menopause. Discomfort and lack of sleep are making me edgy and cranky (bordering on blind-rage). I mumble mean things under my breath at the supermarket like; “Your kid isn’t cute, it’s annoying, I need my decaf iced tea now!” “Fuck me, Move!” “Jesus, are you just going to stand there!” “Oh, I see, you’re special and I am not.” “Sure, I have nothing better to do then hold the door for you, your highness.” You get the picture.

I contacted my doctor about switching to a different drug, but i can’t see him until next week. Ladies, give me some advise. What are your experiences with menopause. What do you wish other people knew or understood about what you are going through? My mom said the hardest part for her was not having anyone to talk to, so let’s talk it out! I need all the advise I can get.

My original post for this recipe was going to be about the first vegetarian fancy meal I ever made for my family. How the recipe I am posting is inspired by the meal I made 15 years ago. However, having an honest post about what I am going through feels more important. There are so many of us women who are going through this life changing event. We are scared or embarrassed to talk about menopause.

There isn’t a smooth way to transition from my blog post about what I am going through and the recipe below. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoy my Mushrooms with White Bean Puree and Red Wine Sauce!

Mushrooms, white beans, shallots, green beans, parsley and garlic on a worn white background.

Pureed white beans in a blue bowl on a worn white wooded background.

Red Wine sauce with ingredients on a blue stained wood background.

Cooked green beans, shallots and mushrooms in a cast iron pan on a blue wooded background.

Two assembled mushrooms on grey plates with crispy onions on top. Arugula and lemon on the side with blue wood background.

Two assembled mushrooms with bean puree, green beans, parsley and wine sauce on the bottom.

Two assembled mushrooms shot from farther away on a white background. Wine, wine sauce, mushroom cap, arugula and lemon on the table.

Mushrooms with White Bean Puree and Red Wine Sauce

Print Recipe

Author: Jodi Boatman Prep Time: 25 Minutes Cook time: 30 Minutes

Total Time: 55 Minutes Yields: 4 Servings

Ingredients:

4 large portabella mushrooms
Olive oil non-stick spray
2 medium shallots, chopped
3 clove of garlic, minced.
2 C fresh green beans
Pinch of salt and pepper
1/8 C vegetable stock
1 TBSP flat leaf parsley, chopped fine
1 TBSP butter
1/2 C French’s Crispy Fried Onions

Bean Puree:
1 TBSP olive oil
15.5 oz can of cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3 TBPS vegetable stock

Red Wine Sauce:
2/3 C red wine
2 TBSP tomato paste
1 C vegetable stock
1 TBSP brown sugar

Parsley for garnish

Instructions:

Remove the stalks from the mushrooms and chop them. Heat the non-stick spray in a large frying pan and cook the shallots over medium heat for 3 minutes until soft. Add the garlic and mushroom stalks. Season with salt and pepper. Cook for 3 minutes until mushrooms are soft. Stir in vegetable stock and green beans and reduce heat to medium-low. Cook until the green beans are soft but not mushy, about 5 minutes. Stir in parsley and keep warm.
To make the bean puree, combine olive oil, beans, garlic and vegetable stock in food processor until smooth and set aside. Add to a small sauce pan and warm.
To make the mushrooms, melt butter in a large frying pan and add the mushroom tops. Season with salt and pepper and cook on medium heat for 4 minutes on each side until tender. Remove mushrooms from pan and keep warm.
To make the red wine sauce, add wine to the same pan as the mushrooms were cooked in and scrape the bottom with a spatula to remove cooked bits of mushrooms. Add the tomato paste, vegetable stock and brown sugar and bring to a boil. Cook for 10 minutes or until reduced and thickened.
To assemble, place 1/4 red wine sauce on your serving plates, top with 1/4 bean puree mixture, 1/4 green bean mixture and mushrooms. Add fried onions and parsley to garnish.